The Saggy, Baggy Elephant

So....I have raised 3 children[which virtually means I have no fear!]and I have been through all sorts of clothing fads with them....and I survived the big hair, neon, leg warmer era of the 80's.....but none have been so offensive as the baggy pants craze. If I had a dime for everytime I yelled at my son and his friends to pull up their pants, I would be a very rich woman today.

However this morning it struck me as I was getting dressed for work, that all my clothes were getting to big and baggy....and suddenly the baggy pants craze makes me a very happy woman!

The Men in My Life

There is NO surer sign of Spring (especially in Seattle where we have rain until July 5th)for me than the annual unveiling of the new flavors of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream.

Ben and Jerry have been the long standing men in my life [even longer than Justin who will have been my friend for 25 years this september] and I have never missed an unveiling....the hunt through the neighborhood grocery stores for all of the flavors, figuring out how far I may need to drive to find that last one, determining my personal favorite and seeing which would become my freezers allstar, finding out if they have used one of my suggestions [yes, I have submitted suggestions for new flavors....hasn't everyone?] and the thrill of potential victory as I *may* find one that beats my personal favorite, New York Super Fudge Chunk (I am a NYC girl after all!)

Here are this years new 6:


Here is the kicker though....this year I have a new attitude and I live on "a new street" and I haven't had Ben or Jerry in a VERY long time and I don't intend to start now. Luckily for me, none of this years contenders seems worth missing, with the exception of Milk and Cookies which could be a winner....but I will never know!

In fact, ice cream seems to have lost its power over me....and I have kicked Ben and Jerry to the curb for a new man named Menchies (a healthy frozen yogurt joint that has moved to town). If you haven't met him yet you have to check him out. In fact, I think I may go for a run and earn myself some Menchies later today!

Turbo Kick

Tried a new class tonight.....Turbo Kick And let me tell you....turbo kick kicked my ass! Cross, Jab, Hook, Uppercut---I felt like I was in a rockem sockem robot adventure

Have you tried Mud Runs....whoa those are hard...But let me tell you...I can roundhouse with the best of them....and you don't wanna mess with me!

Top Ten Things Learned on the Way to NOT Becoming the Biggest Loser

10. When waiting outside in the rain and cold for upwards of 10+ hours, bring, at the minimum an umbrella (just because we do not use umbrellas in the Pacific Northwest does not mean that they do not exsist.)

9. Always make sure to capitalize on all possible money making possibilites (the guy in front of me and I schemed for hours on the best way to make money off of the 5000 people strong line, then he stole my idea left the line and made a costco run to bring back and sell muffins,coffee and waters...last time I saw him he was at least $250 richer.)

8. Be open to the possibility of making it all the way (I never believed in myself enough and that shows!)

7. Be willing to do ANYTHING and not worry about how you look, sound, or come off as (you say evil snarky bitch like it's a bad thing....)

6. Build alliances early, but never forget it is a game! (my alliance proved critical as her having stolen applications early in the day during a "bathroom run" was the only way I made it inside.

5. The cell phone is a marvelous invention....and I never would have survived without mine. Thanks to all of you who talked, texted and kept my energy up during the ENTIRE process!

4. When the producer asks you what you are good at....have an answer....and more than one thing. You gotta be all that plus the bag of chips and know how to use it baby!

3. When you do not get chosen, do not act like a beauty school dropout and go into a tailspin. You did not let anyone down but yourself, your friends, family, coworkers and etc love you for you...not the possiblity of seeing themselves on TV in a background clip

2. Remember the experience and put it away as a story to tell your grandchildren someday but live in the here and now.....build your weight loss "mafia" and learn from others who have been there, realize it is okay to ask for help and know every single day that you are worth it!

And David Letterman's Top Life Lesson Learned.......

1. NEVER, EVER be at the weight that qualifies you to try out for the Biggest Loser again (I do not care that the twins, Bill and Jim who went on to win both the $250,000 and $100,000 prize had to try out THREE times before making it) USE THIS AS A CATALYST FOR CHANGE!

Have I changed...am I still walking down a different street? YOU BET! I have listened more and shared less, I have journaled with a friend and as a closet eater this is huge for me, and most of all I am down 10 pounds since this whole journey started!

Peace Love Zumba

Peace...Love...Zumba

So it finally hit me most of the way in to hour 2 of my two hour Monday night Zumbathon, there in the midst of being drenched in sweat, during the middle of a Shakira song (yes, my hips dont lie!) that I stopped caring what I looked like, what other people thought about me, stopped being a mother,a workerbee, neurotic female type A personality and became one with the music, the beat, the roomful of other happy zumba-ers and found pure bliss. That's right, you heard me correctly....this 40-something lifetime exercise avoider found joy on the dance floor.

I hope you all find something that gives you that feeling of joy, no matter how fleeting!

"The Delicious"

So last weekend I finally gave in to the lure of facebook (had a cool group form while auditioning for Biggest Loser[more stories about this coming soon!] and wanted to keep up with them) and then while trying to see what Mafia Wars was all about (still don't know because I couldn't get past the name screen) I had to figure out a mafia name (because Jolene is just not villainous enough) so I went to the Sopranos Mafia Name Website and apparently my Mafia Nickname is: The Delicious. This cracks me up for two reasons.....one, it has food undertones (Tony Soprano really does know me afterall) and two, it makes all the times I told someone to "bite me" worthwhile.....because I AM "The Delicious"....if you mess with me you might come away with a wierd taste of chocolate and 100 calorie treats!

Now I know that Tony Soprano really isn't watching me....however it was quite a blow to have a "food name" come up for a nickname (so much so that I still haven't gotten past the name screen....yes, I could pick something else but...) and it has me thinking about how much food rules my life. As a food addict, I think, dream, breathe, and process in food. It is one of the first things I think about and while finishing one meal I am already thinking about what I am going to eat next, I even "speak" fluent food. As my 'new normal' I am trying to get this under control and put food in the category it belongs....as fuel for my body to function but not as a end all be all and certainly not as an entertainment, comfort, lover and friend! I have many wonderful role models in this quest, lots of friends who have lost over 100 pounds and kept them off---Marina, Nick, Nicole, and Kris to name a few, plus many more who are on this journey. Need to remember that food is just food. SO TAKE THAT TONY SOPRANO!

The New Normal

Well Hello

Haven’t seen you awhile! I know I know….first I was busy working two jobs and then the earth tilted and I fell off my axis as seismic life changes shook me to my core and I lost (or forgot) who I was inside and the voice that I had disappeared and then lately I was busy having a major pity party for one. However I have picked myself up shook myself off and learned to whisper again thanks to good friends and some interesting life lessons along the way.

My trip back from the dark side made me realize that this is the new normal…...


Today’s new normal involved a brownie [and my friend Betsy tossing her cookies]. So, it was doughnut Thursday (ugh!) and to make matters worse there was a potluck that I had to attend. Luckily, in my honor, they made it healthy (all sorts of yummy salads and fruit) until it came to dessert, which (wait for it) were brownies. And not just any brownies mind you….the MOST awesome looking brownies that I had ever seen (and I've seen a lot of brownies in my life if you kwim)…and made from scratch (not really a word in my kitchen vocabulary!) and did I mentioned that they were frosted, because they were…with at least an inch of frosting on top. So I was sitting there formulating a plan (read panicking!) and having an internal war on whether or not to just have the damn brownie or to stick with my prearranged plan to eat my 60 calorie sugar free jello dark chocolate pudding and the evil twin was saying just have it, you can have just one and the (very, very tiny) good side of me was saying no just have the pudding and I thought to myself why can’t I just have the brownie like a normal person AND then it hit me…..I am not a normal person when it comes to food……I am a food addict and if I would have had the brownie with everyone else it would have led to me having “just one more” and then sneaking back into the lunchroom after everyone was safely back at their desk to “sneak” just one more and then it would have led to me stopping at the grocery store on the way home to buy a brownie mix so that I could make them tonight and eat the whole pan in the comfort of my own home, so no I could not just have one.

HOWEVER, I probably would have had “just one brownie” if earlier in the day I hadn’t read Betsys blog post about tossing her cookies---buying the cookies, smelling them, driving almost home with them, convincing herself that she could eat just the one she had allotted herself---before pulling into the rest area and throwing the whole box away. It gave me the strength that I needed to eat the pudding, be happy and let go of all of the comments about how ultimately delicious the brownies were. Thanks Bets, I needed that!


Does it mean I will never eat another brownie? No, but it means that I won this battle and will be suiting up (literally in my exercise clothes for class tonight) to ultimately fight the war. This is my new normal!


Reminded me of this poem that is one of my favorites:

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost...I am helpless

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I am in the same place,

but it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in...it's a habit.

my eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.


I AM WALKING DOWN ANOTHER STREET---why don't you join me, I could use some friends on this new street in this new neighborhood, in this community!