Thursday, August 5, 2010

Keep Going

This has ceased to be many more days can I come on here and talk the talk when I am not really walking the walk. I am "officially" struggling with food, every bite has become mental and physical warfare! Today I ate more food (company picnic) than I would normally eat in a week---and totally feel sick over it!

I know that I should adopt the NGAMO attitude, but I do feel guilt and lots of it....and to make it even worse I am planning to head to a sad movie [I am sad today and need a "reason" to cry] and eat an entire bucket of full on buttered popcorn.

However I am PLANNING on this being it. I am going to wake up transformed, the old Jolene back in place of this one and will be back on program, eating on the straight and narrow.

Churchill once said "When You Are Going Through Hell....Keep Going!" I PLAN TO KEEP GOING!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Eating My Way Through The Day

My day is in dire need of a Ctrl+Alt+Delete!

It all started with a shriveled up apple, a past-the-expiration date piece of string cheese and yogurt and some really nasty Trader Joe's spinach lasagna (this was all I could find in the house to take for lunch, since NO, I did not make it to the grocery store yet) and not a thing to eat for breakfast. This all set the stage for me to eat....and eat....and eat....and then eat somemore. Cake left in the breakroom became breakfast, I raided everyone's food drawers repeatedly throughout the day, and then Justin invited me for thai food for lunch (one cannot say no to thai food!) and then after that it just became a food free-for-all

Logically and rationally I know that I am eating as a direct correlation to major work stress, and to crowd out feelings that I do not want to feel---however I also know quite logically and rationally to not touch the stove when it is hot and that has not stopped me in the past!

I am really tired of being here in this exact spot....fighting the food whirlpool....but I do want to fight the good fight! So hitting Ctrl+Alt+Delete and will get right back on track for dinner (and may even find my way to the grocery store---trying to decide if groceries or clean clothes to wear tomorrow are more important?)

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Tuesday, August 3, 2010


Today I am wishing that I had one of these:

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Mostly so that I could go back and make better life choices, make way better food choices and to go back to a time that life was good again. I wish I could erase that I have been out of the office for 11 straight days and not have to face the mountains of paperwork, bajillion emails and calls and a sad resignation letter that is on my desk. real life there is no rewind button! I am not looking forward to the very long day ahead, which after work must also include unpacking, laundry and grocery shopping---however the scale has me down 3 pounds this week so I am hoping that fact will help me overcome the stresses of the day.