War Paint

Had a major Ah-ha moment this past weekend while performing. We are required to wear make-up when we perform, which makes perfect sense for stage lighting, just not so much sense for me. I have had a ton of anxiety surrounding this as I do not own make up nor wear it nor even know which lotions, potions, and bottles do what. [Prior to chorus, I have only worn make-up at prom or my wedding and then it was professionally applied, you can’t leave something like that in my incapable hands]

Real conversation I have had--- “Liner? What is that and where does it go?” Needless to say, this whole singing thing has really challenged me to step outside of my comfort zone! They call our non-competition look “heavy street” I just didn’t realize until the first time I put it on that street must stand for streetwalker, aka the happy hooker look! Don’t even get me started with how many layers are required for the competition stage.

This weekend while in my ‘war paint’ I happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror while washing my hands and did not know who the person was that was looking back from the mirror---totally startled me at first, then I had this momentous wake up call that I do not, did not, don’t wanna wear makeup because I wanted to be invisible. ME…the larger than life personality, the life of the party, the totally comfortable performing and love to be at the front of the classroom persona….really wants to fade quietly to black, invisible and non-existent.

How this wake up call helps me in my weight loss journey remains to be seen…but I know that I want to live a life where I don’t want to feel invisible, fire engine red lipstick and all!