Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Crashed and burned....yes, this in a nutshell was my trip to Dallas! It is True Confessions Tuesday and they say that confessions are good for the soul SO.....here goes:
"Hi, my name is Jolene and I am a closet eater." Yes, my friends not only did I consume enough calories to feed a small country (behind closed hotel doors of course) I also did not so much as even touch my workout clothes or stick to any of my pre-planning. So much for working the program! On a positive note however, I have already gotten back on the horse and shed those pounds gained! Also, I think not "officially" weighing until Friday is one of the best ideas that I have had in awhile.
I am not really sure what my trigger was....besides stressful 12 hour work days, images of Haiti the only thing on the television, having to eat out as my only option for food, and the isolation of traveling alone---however I am hoping by writing my way through this I will be better able to navigate the future travels that I have planned for March.
I think that the seductiveness of not being caught eating can rear it's ugly head for me in a heartbeat....I can eat more food in one sitting than most people eat in days (truly!) I used to stop for fast food before going home to dinner and not think twice about eating two meals plus dessert. I have not done that in a while but the memories all came floding back while in Dallas. I did however resist the siren song of the McDonalds that was a block away.....but it was touch and go!
I know I can do this but some days I just want off the roller coaster ride---I have invested so much time and energy and money and emotional turmoil into "dieting" over the past decade and some times I just want it all to end but then I remember that I am worth it, this is about my health and my life and I will get to the top of this mountain no matter how hard the climb!
Whew....I guess confessions are good for the soul! Now 5 hail marys and hours in the gym and it will be like I never ate the pasta, pizza, chocolate, bread pudding, cannoli, etc.
Off to exercise through the Biggest Loser show!